


his team

by DeathStricken (douchebagmcpickle)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Gen, Self-Doubt, platonic, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 22:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douchebagmcpickle/pseuds/DeathStricken
Summary: Sometimes Magnus looked at his team and wondered.





	his team

**Author's Note:**

> I’m off my meds and projecting.
> 
> Unedited, stream of consciousness.

Sometimes Magnus has lapses of self-doubt. 

It was only natural really. He was the youngest, the only one who couldn’t do any magic. He was only human. 

When you’re living in a constant cycle with the same seven people, you become a family. But despite that, it’s still lonely. Incredibly lonely at times. 

It was only natural really. 

Sometimes he looked around at his team and wondered who mourned him on the cycles where he died. He knew that it was a horrible, selfish thought, but it didn’t stop him from thinking it. 

On the cycles where Lup died, Taako didn’t leave his room for weeks. 

On the cycles where Barry died, Lup was chaotic. 

On the cycles where Lucretia died, Davenport was on edge, irritable, snapping commands at the crew. 

On the cycles where Davenport died, Merle overwatered all his plants. 

It was selfish. But Magnus wondered who changed for him. 

Sometimes he looked around at his team and felt out of place. Everyone had something they were good at, their staple in the team. But Magnus, he could get hit. 

Sometimes he wondered if that’s all he was good for. 

Sometimes he looked around at his team and felt like he had no one else. He was no one’s first choice to hang out with. Like he was only ever asked to go on a mission because they knew it’d be dangerous. 

Like he was expendable. 

“Magnus.” 

He looked up. Taako was looking down at him where he was sitting on the couch. 

“You okay, amigo?” The elf asked. 

Magnus nodded unconvincingly. Taako quirked an eyebrow and reached up, swiping a soft knuckle across his cheek. It came away wet. Magnus hadn’t realized he was crying. 

Wordlessly, Taako sat down on the other end of the couch and gently coaxed the human forward so Magnus was laying between his legs with his cheek pressed against Taako’s stomach. 

“You wanna talk?” He asked. Magnus shook his head. “Don’t talk then.” 

Taako began to hum softly, carding his long fingers through Magnus’ shaggy brown hair. Neither of them spoke. The silence was comfortable. Magnus let himself lay against his friend, tears sliding down his face until he fell asleep. 

Sometimes Magnus looked at his team and wondered how he got so lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I’m going to get some chapters of my main fics up soon. I felt like garbage and needed to vent so I guess this is that. 
> 
> Talk to me on my tumblr  
> gohomeandprayforsunrise.tumblr.com


End file.
